Have you ever built up so many walls that no one can get inside to what you are feeling or want to say? Are you ever afraid of letting people in and getting hurt? Do you ever feel like you are messing things up because of your walls? Do you ever feel like you are so complicated to understand that you can't even understand yourself?
I know exactly how you feel. God has been working a lot in me the past few months. I feel like I have so many walls that not even a army can knock them down. Yet slowly one by one they are coming down. I have been learning to trust God and let Him have all of me. He is teaching me that not everyone in this world is going to let me down or hurt me. I am aloud to be open to those He is allowing me to trust. I have to let Him give me the wisdom as to whether or not I can trust that person. These walls are just fears that have been built up over the years that have never been dealt with. Well they are so ready to be dealt with.
I have pushed so many people away and hurt others just because I was afraid of getting hurt. How selfish is that?!?!?!? I have missed oppourtunities to be a witness,friend and mentor to people.
God has so much planned for each one of us and we are so focused on what He has planned for the future that we do not pay attention to what He is doing around us in the "now". I am done with asking Him to reveal His plan. I want to be able to live in the "now" and build and pour into the relationships that I have with people now. I want to seek Gods heart fully and know Him better and have my motive be pure. God is completely interested in our relationship with Him and He has so much that He wants us to share with Him. These walls are gonna come down and I am done with being complicated! I am ready to embrace the unknown and let God have complete control. He is the only one to completely satisfy so why don't I and anyone else let Him?
I am so proud to claim title of your roommate. I am extreamly proud of you, of who you are letting God change and grow you to be. You have grown so much. You have felt pain, fear so great you thought it would eat you alive, great love, annoyounce, uncomforte, loneliness, joy, peace, and so much more since you have been here, and been with me (including your first mgmd!!) I have seen and experienced the effect of your love, guidence, wisdom, and self-sacrifice on this campus. You will always come face to face with satan as long as you are serving the Lord but remember that God is has more power in one pinkytip that satan has in his whole being plus all that follow him!!! He has you in His hands very close to His heart, a place where satan cant even imagine let alone get close to!!! I love you with my whole heart and I want you to remeber "I'm Sticking with YOU!!!!"
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