Wednesday, September 7, 2011

At Your Feet

I do not know if you have ever allowed yourself to feel completely overwhelmed to where you feel like everything is falling apart. Or do you get to the point where you "feel" like you are putting complete trust and faith into God and everything "seems" to be going well, then all of the sudden the world around you comes crashing down.
Recently I got to that point. I did not know what to do but, I tried so hard to let God have everything. I tried but I wanted to be in control of my emotions and not let anything or anyone in. I figured it would be easier to keep to myself, so I could deal and try to figure out everything and why it was happening. My trust in people came to a halt. There were and sometimes still are points where I did not want to be around anyone or have any talk to me. I felt like the world was against me and I was drowning in the mess that surrounded me.
I got to school this semester and God took a hold on my heart. I could not do anything on my own and by the end of each day I was exhausted and wondered if I should have stayed at home. I still did not feel at peace being away from home. Then while listening to my music one day a song by Casting Crowns came on. It is called "At Your Feet". The lyrics talk about laying everything down at the feet of Jesus and letting Him have it all. Then about a week ago I read Matthew 11:28 "Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." I do not need people of this world who will only continue to let me down. I do not need myself to try and fix everything, and I do not need to try and keep it all together. God wants me to lay it all down at His feet and since I have done that the things going on in my life are not as jumbled. No the feeling has not gone away, but I feel like Gods hand is placed on it all. There is a comfort that I cannot describe. I know God has a purpose and a plan for it all.
I challenge all of you who may be feeling the same way to lay it all at His feet. No it is not easy and I have to do it everyday, but it makes my day so much better.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

The Power of the Cross

Today is the celebration of Jesus' Resurrection! There is so much more to this story than Jesus dying on the cross for our sins because He loved us, and Him being buried and then rising from the dead and living today! I believe that it is also about forgiveness and a challenge for us as Christians to be more like Him in the way we live.

We get so angry because of the guards who beat Jesus and those who mocked Him. We get mad because Herod and Ceasar did not stand up for Him and let Him go. We let bitterness towards these people rise up in us because they beat Him as He carried the cross to Mt. Calvary. Yet, we do not acknowledge the fact that these people are sinners. They never believed in Him in the first place and if they did, obviously some of them did not want to get ridiculed by those who were beating Him. The question here is; Would you be that impacted by Jesus' death on the cross if all they did was nailed Him? Would you fully understand the significance to how much He loved us? Would you understand forgiveness in the way that Jesus' intended us to?

When He beared all the pain; the whipping, the crown of thorns, the mocking, being spat on, getting nailed to the cross, and then challenged, was to show that EVERY sin on Him was laid. Yet, He never said a word. He did not retalliate or tell them they were going straight to Hell. He looked on them with brokeness. Why should He do this for me or for you? The only reason given is because He loved us so much that He did not want to see us suffer the way He did. Imagine being one of the thieves on that cross, enduring not even half of the pain Jesus endured. One of the thieves were saved, Praise God! But the other mocked Him. Even while the thief was on the cross he was mocking Jesus. Still Jesus said nothing to stand up for Himself. The significance is SO much greater when you look at all the suffering and anguish He endured.

The point of forgiveness, in Luke 23:34, Jesus says "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do." Why should God forgive them? Why should any mercy be given to them? Well because, we at times are just like the soldiers. We gossip, lie, steal, hate, kill, make fun of people, etc. and He gives us the chance to be redeemed. We are no greater than those soldiers. We hold grudges against people instead of going to them and letting them know we were hurt, or that they did some kind of wrong to us, just like God commands us to. Instead of forgiveness we treat them just like the soldiers treated those who were sent to the cross for punishment. I have no right to be angry at those soldiers. I should be broken for them and hope that they realized who Jesus was and asked for forgiveness. Those who I feel have mistreated me should see Gods love through the way I approach, talk, act and how I treat them.

Why is the cross so powerful? It holds much more than our sins, it holds the savior of the world! It holds the one who taught us how to treat others, how to love and how to handle situations. The song that comes to mind is Chris Tomlins Mighty is the Power of the Cross. These are the lyrics:
What can take a dying man and raise him up to life again?
What can heal a wounded soul?
What can make us white as snow?
What can fill the emptiness?
What can mend our brokenness?

Mighty,awesome, wonderful
Is the hooly cross
where the Lamb laid down His life
to lift us from the fall
Mighty is the power of the cross

What restores our faith in God?
What reveals the Father's love?
What can lead a wayward home?
What can melt a heart of stone?
What can free the guilty ones?
What can save and overcome?

Yes, Mighty is the Power of the Cross!! He is Risen and Lives for Eternity! Think of what He did for you and why! We are only made new through Him and only throught Him will we be able to go spend eternity with Him!

Friday, March 18, 2011

Proverbs 18:24

Proverbs 18:24 "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

The past few weeks I have been struggling with not being satisfied in friendships. Not that I cannot talk to my friends, but that I felt as if no one really understanding or really listening, even if they were. What I was desiring was for someone to be there for me to pour my heart out to and just listen and then be blunt and completely honest with me. Yet I felt like I was not getting that from anyone.
What I was missing is that I was putting people before God. I was not letting Him be my bestfriend. I was taking advantage of the blessings He put in my life and getting frustrated when I was not getting what I wanted out of it. This past wednesday when I was doing my quiet time I came across this verse, Proverbs 18:24. I have heard it before and even read it during one of my quiet times a while back. But I never really fully understood it till now. People are going to let you down. They are going to forget, lie, stab you in the back, come and go BUT, God will never leave your side. What a incrediable thought that is! There is someone who is going to be there no matter what. Thinking about that reminds me of a quote by Clayton King. In his book Surrounded by the Sacred he says, " The struggles and losses of life can bring us to the point where we get worn down by the press and pull of this fallen world and ask God for an exemption- a break, a vacation,a free pass. But that is seldom how God works, He offers us something much more tangible, a companion. Instead of letting us aviod the valley of the shadow of death He makes us walk right through the middle of it with Him by our side." How unworthy I am to even have a friend like that. I am blessed with so many people who are visable in my life, but I am blessed even more to have a companion who, though I cannot see Him, is with me every second of every day!

Sunday, February 6, 2011

The Walls are Coming Down.

Have you ever built up so many walls that no one can get inside to what you are feeling or want to say? Are you ever afraid of letting people in and getting hurt? Do you ever feel like you are messing things up because of your walls? Do you ever feel like you are so complicated to understand that you can't even understand yourself?
I know exactly how you feel. God has been working a lot in me the past few months. I feel like I have so many walls that not even a army can knock them down. Yet slowly one by one they are coming down. I have been learning to trust God and let Him have all of me. He is teaching me that not everyone in this world is going to let me down or hurt me. I am aloud to be open to those He is allowing me to trust. I have to let Him give me the wisdom as to whether or not I can trust that person. These walls are just fears that have been built up over the years that have never been dealt with. Well they are so ready to be dealt with.
I have pushed so many people away and hurt others just because I was afraid of getting hurt. How selfish is that?!?!?!? I have missed oppourtunities to be a witness,friend and mentor to people.
God has so much planned for each one of us and we are so focused on what He has planned for the future that we do not pay attention to what He is doing around us in the "now". I am done with asking Him to reveal His plan. I want to be able to live in the "now" and build and pour into the relationships that I have with people now. I want to seek Gods heart fully and know Him better and have my motive be pure. God is completely interested in our relationship with Him and He has so much that He wants us to share with Him. These walls are gonna come down and I am done with being complicated! I am ready to embrace the unknown and let God have complete control. He is the only one to completely satisfy so why don't I and anyone else let Him?

Friday, January 14, 2011

New Beginnings!

Wow what a year that has passed! Being a couple weeks into the new year I have already learned so much! God has really been working, not only on me but the people around me, which I have been honored with the opportunity to be a part of. I do believe the biggest thing I learned is to not be so closed off to people and what is going on in other peoples lives. I tend to pass by and not really see that something inside of them is truly stirring. I may notice but instead of praying or just simply asking "Is everything okay?" I keep on going.
Going into another semester I know God has something HUGE planned and I cannot wait to see what is in store! One of the things that God has really pressed on my heart though is the passage Philippians 1:9-11 which says, "And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment,so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ,filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ,to the glory and praise of God". In little ways He has brought it to my attention, either it be in my devotion or from a friend just simply quoting it or asking me to read it, even going to my old youth groups website. I have truly made that a prayer for everyday!
So here I go into another semester and another year but more importantly to another chance to live each day completely and fully for God!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010


I am in the middle of my second week of classes here at BCF and all is going well. Yesterday, was,for some reason, a day of just me being a mess. Ever since I was told that I wasn't going to be able to go to Grace College I have been totally confused at what path God has for me. My spiritual life has been a rollar coaster and I know that it should not be that way. I felt like the devil had some sort of hold on me,instead of letting God control me I was letting him. I completely lost control of my emotions and wasn't myself for most of the day. I snapped at dear friends and I knew that was the last straw. I barely talked for the rest of the day. I hate sharing my feelings unless it is something positive to share and I just wasn't in the mood to share at all. But God is Great and mighty because today I felt like the grip that satan had on my was lifted. In chapel one of the songs we sang was "In Christ Alone". I never truly read the words to the fullest till today and I literally teared up through the whole song. "....NO power of hell,NO scheme of man can ever pluck me from His hand...."I have never felt so relieved and at peace in my life. God has truly blessed me and used me even when I didn't want to be. He deserves more honor and praise than I give Him and from here ontg out I pray that He gets it. The desire that I am feeling to know Him more is more real than it has ever been in my life.
College life isn't going to be a blur it is going to be a day by day journey with the Lord as He leads me to where He needs me to be. I know that it is not going to be easy, but I also know that it will be a harder journey that I wouldn't get through if I didn't have Him. He has brought me through so much and I can't wait to see what He wants to do with me. I am totally honored too be used by Him! Redemption is a beautiful thing and I believe that is what happened today! I thank God that He is there to save me and redeeem me even when I don't even come close to deserveing it.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Something Ive Learned

This past week was a weekend of relaxation, fun, most of all a learning experience for myself.
On our way to Panama City we were listening to music and one of the songs that stuck in my head even till this point was "Here I Go Again" by Casting Crowns. i know the lyrics to this song but never really read them. I couldn't figure out why God kept this song playing again and again in my head and yesterday it finally hit me.

The lyrics that were stuck in my head were:
Maybe this time i'll speak the words of life,
with your fire in my eyes,
but that old familliar fear is tearing at my words,
What am i so afraid of?
Cause Here I go again,
Talkin bout the rain
mullin over things that won't live past today,
and as I dance around the truth,
time is not his friend,
this might be my last chance to tell em that you love him,
but here I go again.

This whole past weekend God brought my attention to how I don't take teh time and share. I walk around like I have no passion for Him, that He is just another friend in my life. In sunday school we learned about Jesus' ministry on earth and how He was aggressive and went out to save souls because He cared. My lifestyle was exactly like this song.
Maybe i'll share today and speak with passion, but no I can't because i'm to afraid. Wait why am I so afraid? Well lets talk about this and that which doesn't really matter. Well time is running out and this might be my last chance but i'm still to scared.

I don't want this lifestlye. I don't desire this lifestyle. I desire that passion that excited feeling that I get to share! Here I go again with another day and another chance to show His love and be agressive to share with someone!

I need to be kept accountable when I know that I have a chance but I don't take it! I ahve strength to share because Jesus is that strength! Here I go!!!