I am in the middle of my second week of classes here at BCF and all is going well. Yesterday, was,for some reason, a day of just me being a mess. Ever since I was told that I wasn't going to be able to go to Grace College I have been totally confused at what path God has for me. My spiritual life has been a rollar coaster and I know that it should not be that way. I felt like the devil had some sort of hold on me,instead of letting God control me I was letting him. I completely lost control of my emotions and wasn't myself for most of the day. I snapped at dear friends and I knew that was the last straw. I barely talked for the rest of the day. I hate sharing my feelings unless it is something positive to share and I just wasn't in the mood to share at all. But God is Great and mighty because today I felt like the grip that satan had on my was lifted. In chapel one of the songs we sang was "In Christ Alone". I never truly read the words to the fullest till today and I literally teared up through the whole song. "....NO power of hell,NO scheme of man can ever pluck me from His hand...."I have never felt so relieved and at peace in my life. God has truly blessed me and used me even when I didn't want to be. He deserves more honor and praise than I give Him and from here ontg out I pray that He gets it. The desire that I am feeling to know Him more is more real than it has ever been in my life.
College life isn't going to be a blur it is going to be a day by day journey with the Lord as He leads me to where He needs me to be. I know that it is not going to be easy, but I also know that it will be a harder journey that I wouldn't get through if I didn't have Him. He has brought me through so much and I can't wait to see what He wants to do with me. I am totally honored too be used by Him! Redemption is a beautiful thing and I believe that is what happened today! I thank God that He is there to save me and redeeem me even when I don't even come close to deserveing it.