I am in the middle of my second week of classes here at BCF and all is going well. Yesterday, was,for some reason, a day of just me being a mess. Ever since I was told that I wasn't going to be able to go to Grace College I have been totally confused at what path God has for me. My spiritual life has been a rollar coaster and I know that it should not be that way. I felt like the devil had some sort of hold on me,instead of letting God control me I was letting him. I completely lost control of my emotions and wasn't myself for most of the day. I snapped at dear friends and I knew that was the last straw. I barely talked for the rest of the day. I hate sharing my feelings unless it is something positive to share and I just wasn't in the mood to share at all. But God is Great and mighty because today I felt like the grip that satan had on my was lifted. In chapel one of the songs we sang was "In Christ Alone". I never truly read the words to the fullest till today and I literally teared up through the whole song. "....NO power of hell,NO scheme of man can ever pluck me from His hand...."I have never felt so relieved and at peace in my life. God has truly blessed me and used me even when I didn't want to be. He deserves more honor and praise than I give Him and from here ontg out I pray that He gets it. The desire that I am feeling to know Him more is more real than it has ever been in my life.
College life isn't going to be a blur it is going to be a day by day journey with the Lord as He leads me to where He needs me to be. I know that it is not going to be easy, but I also know that it will be a harder journey that I wouldn't get through if I didn't have Him. He has brought me through so much and I can't wait to see what He wants to do with me. I am totally honored too be used by Him! Redemption is a beautiful thing and I believe that is what happened today! I thank God that He is there to save me and redeeem me even when I don't even come close to deserveing it.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Something Ive Learned
This past week was a weekend of relaxation, fun, most of all a learning experience for myself.
On our way to Panama City we were listening to music and one of the songs that stuck in my head even till this point was "Here I Go Again" by Casting Crowns. i know the lyrics to this song but never really read them. I couldn't figure out why God kept this song playing again and again in my head and yesterday it finally hit me.
The lyrics that were stuck in my head were:
Maybe this time i'll speak the words of life,
with your fire in my eyes,
but that old familliar fear is tearing at my words,
What am i so afraid of?
Cause Here I go again,
Talkin bout the rain
mullin over things that won't live past today,
and as I dance around the truth,
time is not his friend,
this might be my last chance to tell em that you love him,
but here I go again.
This whole past weekend God brought my attention to how I don't take teh time and share. I walk around like I have no passion for Him, that He is just another friend in my life. In sunday school we learned about Jesus' ministry on earth and how He was aggressive and went out to save souls because He cared. My lifestyle was exactly like this song.
Maybe i'll share today and speak with passion, but no I can't because i'm to afraid. Wait why am I so afraid? Well lets talk about this and that which doesn't really matter. Well time is running out and this might be my last chance but i'm still to scared.
I don't want this lifestlye. I don't desire this lifestyle. I desire that passion that excited feeling that I get to share! Here I go again with another day and another chance to show His love and be agressive to share with someone!
I need to be kept accountable when I know that I have a chance but I don't take it! I ahve strength to share because Jesus is that strength! Here I go!!!
On our way to Panama City we were listening to music and one of the songs that stuck in my head even till this point was "Here I Go Again" by Casting Crowns. i know the lyrics to this song but never really read them. I couldn't figure out why God kept this song playing again and again in my head and yesterday it finally hit me.
The lyrics that were stuck in my head were:
Maybe this time i'll speak the words of life,
with your fire in my eyes,
but that old familliar fear is tearing at my words,
What am i so afraid of?
Cause Here I go again,
Talkin bout the rain
mullin over things that won't live past today,
and as I dance around the truth,
time is not his friend,
this might be my last chance to tell em that you love him,
but here I go again.
This whole past weekend God brought my attention to how I don't take teh time and share. I walk around like I have no passion for Him, that He is just another friend in my life. In sunday school we learned about Jesus' ministry on earth and how He was aggressive and went out to save souls because He cared. My lifestyle was exactly like this song.
Maybe i'll share today and speak with passion, but no I can't because i'm to afraid. Wait why am I so afraid? Well lets talk about this and that which doesn't really matter. Well time is running out and this might be my last chance but i'm still to scared.
I don't want this lifestlye. I don't desire this lifestyle. I desire that passion that excited feeling that I get to share! Here I go again with another day and another chance to show His love and be agressive to share with someone!
I need to be kept accountable when I know that I have a chance but I don't take it! I ahve strength to share because Jesus is that strength! Here I go!!!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Taking it All in
Our student ministry at our church just got back from a week long camp. I love going to Crossroads because you not only get close with your fellow piers but you get to see the part of your life you are holding back from God, and you get a chance to change it!
This year one of the speakers (Clayton) was talking about having complete peace and no matter what he was going through he knew God was there.I have been longing for that feeling of complete peace! God put that desire into my heart and I knew there was something that was blocking it. I have a tendency to control my life, okay I do control my life. I am a very structured person and whenever something is wrong I have to fix it other wise my day will end up being completely chaotic. (Well inside that is).
After Clayton finished speaking Carl Cartee got up there and started worship. I never truly read the words with meaning, but that night each song, each word, had a beautiful meaning. The one phrase that stuck out to me the whole night was " Take my life and let it be all for you and for your Glory, take my life and let it be yours". Right then I knew that I needed to let God have complete and total control over my life. Instead of taking the driver seat, I need to take the passenger seat.
I noticed when I controled my own life it brought me no where. Honestly it lead me down a path to rock bottom. Whenever God lead me to do something I would do it half heartedly or even be bitter and only let God work through me a little bit. I am excited to see how much God can truly use me and I am ready to do it whole heartedly and by completely surrendering my life to Him!
"Here I am Lord! Send me!"
This year one of the speakers (Clayton) was talking about having complete peace and no matter what he was going through he knew God was there.I have been longing for that feeling of complete peace! God put that desire into my heart and I knew there was something that was blocking it. I have a tendency to control my life, okay I do control my life. I am a very structured person and whenever something is wrong I have to fix it other wise my day will end up being completely chaotic. (Well inside that is).
After Clayton finished speaking Carl Cartee got up there and started worship. I never truly read the words with meaning, but that night each song, each word, had a beautiful meaning. The one phrase that stuck out to me the whole night was " Take my life and let it be all for you and for your Glory, take my life and let it be yours". Right then I knew that I needed to let God have complete and total control over my life. Instead of taking the driver seat, I need to take the passenger seat.
I noticed when I controled my own life it brought me no where. Honestly it lead me down a path to rock bottom. Whenever God lead me to do something I would do it half heartedly or even be bitter and only let God work through me a little bit. I am excited to see how much God can truly use me and I am ready to do it whole heartedly and by completely surrendering my life to Him!
"Here I am Lord! Send me!"
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Day 15 of a month long blog!
Today is another "whatever tickles my fancy" day. Well its early and I am tired so this may seem to be a jumbled blog. I just have to say, getting a good nights rest is very vital for a healthy lifestlye, but being able to get up early because you are about to go and have a amazing week, seems to be more vital to me right now. Well I am not gonna type much so I can finish with what I need to do before I leave, but this day is the start of a week that I know I will never forget!
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Day 14 of a month long blog!
A fictional book.....hmmm this is a good question. I think I am going to talk about the book that I am reading for college right now, which is " This Voice in my Heart" by Gilbert Tuhabonye.
Gilbert Tuhabonye is becoming one of my favorite people as I read his story on what he went through and how he got where he is now! I don't want to give anything away, but he is a track star who graduated from Abilene Christian University. He grew up in the tribe of Tutsi and his journey while he was there is life changing. He got through everything "by the Grace of God" as Gilbert says.
I can't even explain it all in this blog. I will just say go and read it and I know your life will be put into a perspective that you wouldn't even imagine!
Gilbert Tuhabonye is becoming one of my favorite people as I read his story on what he went through and how he got where he is now! I don't want to give anything away, but he is a track star who graduated from Abilene Christian University. He grew up in the tribe of Tutsi and his journey while he was there is life changing. He got through everything "by the Grace of God" as Gilbert says.
I can't even explain it all in this blog. I will just say go and read it and I know your life will be put into a perspective that you wouldn't even imagine!
Friday, July 16, 2010
Day 13 of a month long blog!
Today we are talking about a fictional book. I would have to say a fictional book that I really like is "The Prophet" by Frank Peretti. I had to read it my sophmore year in high school and at first I didn't really like it but eventually I couoldn't put the book down!
Its about a anchorman whos father was a "prophet" which drove him crazy. When his father dies, which seems like a accidental death, his sons world turns upside down. He becomes the "prophet" and starts hearing a voice that is telling him "the truth" of every person when he is in a room.
This book keeps you on the edge of your seat as you read it! It is defintely a book worth reading!
Its about a anchorman whos father was a "prophet" which drove him crazy. When his father dies, which seems like a accidental death, his sons world turns upside down. He becomes the "prophet" and starts hearing a voice that is telling him "the truth" of every person when he is in a room.
This book keeps you on the edge of your seat as you read it! It is defintely a book worth reading!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Day 12 of a month long blog!
Today is again "Whatever Tickles your Fancy" , so here is one of those survey things that you would see on Facebook or Myspace, maybe even on emails.
Rule # 1:
You open this you take it.
Rule # 2:
You are not allowed to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you and asks.
Rule # 3:
Only anwser true and false.
Q: Been arrested?
False
Q:Kissed someone you didn't like?
False
Q: Do you like/love someone?
False
Q: Held a snake?
True
Q: Been suspended from school?
False
Q: Been fired from a job?
False
Q: Sang karoke?
True
Q: Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?
True
Q: Laughed until you started crying?
True
Q: Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
True
Q: Kissed in the rain?
False
Q: Sang in the shower?
True
Q: Sat on a rooftop?
True
Q: Been pushed into a pool with your clothes on?
True
Q: Broken a bone?
False ( but I have torn Ligiments)
Q: Shaved your head?
False haha I would totally weird if I did that ha.
Q: Played a prank on someone?
True
Q: Made a ex girlfriend/ex boyfriend cry?
False
Q: Shot a gun?
True
Q: Donated blood?
True
Q: Had your heart broken?
False
Q: Broken someones heart?
False ( not that I know of )
Who was your last?
1. People?
umm....
2. You texted?
madre
3. You went in a car with?
Erica
4. Went to the movies with?
Alaina and BJ and some other people.
5. Went to the mall with?
padre haha
6. You talked on the phone?
madre
7. Made you laugh?
Erica
8. You hugged?
Erica
9. You cried with?
Mrs. Benn and Erica
Would you rather...?
1. Pierce your tongue or nose?
nose
2. Be serious or funny?
both
3. Die in a fire or get shot?
wow ummm get shot
okay thats all for today.
Rule # 1:
You open this you take it.
Rule # 2:
You are not allowed to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you and asks.
Rule # 3:
Only anwser true and false.
Q: Been arrested?
False
Q:Kissed someone you didn't like?
False
Q: Do you like/love someone?
False
Q: Held a snake?
True
Q: Been suspended from school?
False
Q: Been fired from a job?
False
Q: Sang karoke?
True
Q: Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?
True
Q: Laughed until you started crying?
True
Q: Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
True
Q: Kissed in the rain?
False
Q: Sang in the shower?
True
Q: Sat on a rooftop?
True
Q: Been pushed into a pool with your clothes on?
True
Q: Broken a bone?
False ( but I have torn Ligiments)
Q: Shaved your head?
False haha I would totally weird if I did that ha.
Q: Played a prank on someone?
True
Q: Made a ex girlfriend/ex boyfriend cry?
False
Q: Shot a gun?
True
Q: Donated blood?
True
Q: Had your heart broken?
False
Q: Broken someones heart?
False ( not that I know of )
Who was your last?
1. People?
umm....
2. You texted?
madre
3. You went in a car with?
Erica
4. Went to the movies with?
Alaina and BJ and some other people.
5. Went to the mall with?
padre haha
6. You talked on the phone?
madre
7. Made you laugh?
Erica
8. You hugged?
Erica
9. You cried with?
Mrs. Benn and Erica
Would you rather...?
1. Pierce your tongue or nose?
nose
2. Be serious or funny?
both
3. Die in a fire or get shot?
wow ummm get shot
okay thats all for today.
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